Okay, so as I'm driving down Grand Avenue this afternoon, dishing out punishments to my son and daughter from the driver's seat I found myself shouting, "If Don Draper was your father you'd listen the first time, dammit!" Their reflections from the rear view mirror seemed slightly stunned, but mostly amused--as if to say--"Wait til my therapist gets a load of this!"
But my tirade got me thinking about last night's episode of Mad Men. Let's just jump ahead to 10:30 when Don's scream to the kids, "Cut it out!" was followed by obedient silence. My breathing became heavier when I stopped to think that he was not only admonishing his own brood, but also his brother-in-law's daughters. And they all listened! Come on, anyone who's ever had a playdate has had the urge to scream just once at some other kid, "Cut it out!" (My house, being uncensored, would follow it up with, "You little Bastard!") I am a true subscriber to the "Don Draper Method for Scaring the Shit out of Your Kids."
Okay back to the show--let's start at the beginning where Ann Margaret opened the show with "Bye Bye Birdie"--tell me that Sal didn't want to break out dancing and singing? Did you see his Fred Flinstone head slightly shaking to the beat restraining himself to not get up on the table and dance along with Annie?
And while we're on the subject of The Flintstones, I loved when sexy Joanie said to Iron Betty, "Other than Wilma Flintstone, I've never seen anyone carry so well." And not for nothing, but Joanie's looking a little thick around the waist; however, it only makes her look more sexy--my middle cannot be forced into curves--it's simply just there preventing me from sitting close enough to the steering wheel to reach the pedals. Lately it feels like I have to stand when I drive.
Then there's the dinner scene with Don, Pissed-off Betty, Pompous Price and his arrogant wife. Just once I want to be in a situation that requires me to say, "Ah, the coquille. Brilliant!"
And Roger. Roger, Roger, Roger...All I have to say about Roger is "Gibson up, Baby!" He can drink anywhere, anytime, anyplace and never break a sweat. It's true that last season's oyster and 10 martini lunch with Dan caused him to spew all over the clients (every time I eat oysters I'm reminded of that scene) he's still my favorite character. I loved the "family meeting" in his office with his ex & daughter. Let me just say that if Roger was my daddy and he was footing the bill for my off-the-charts wedding he could bring Ethel Merman for all I cared! And I love how his ex called his nubile bride "June" instead of "Jane"--can't beat passive-aggressive behavior!
Then there's Peggy's dorm sex with the Bay Ridge Boy. No Trojan, no worries--"we can do other things." -- How Don Draper of her!
I can't end the post without talking about Grandpa since the show sort of revolved around him and his son Scooter. Let me just say this--if I walked into my kitchen and found the old man pouring my booze down the drain he'd be in a home faster than you could say, "Bye-Bye Gramps!" That scene brought a tear to my eye.
Okay, and then there's the Don Draper Maypole Boner scene. The teacher was definitely headed in the "flower child" direction--hair down, no spray, no girdles, no stockings. You know there's got to be a story there...my guess is Don's going to the Parent-Teacher conference this year.
So until next week ladies, get out those matching peignoir sets, light up a non-filtered cigarette, and make yourself a pitcher of martinis...and if you find an empty box of Melba Toast in your cupboard--blame it on the maid...why not, Betty does?
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