Indoor Playgrounds in Bergen County

Kids Kingdom, 271 Livingston Street, Northvale 201-564-7396

http://www.njkidskingdom.com/

Jungle Gym, Ball Shooting, Kitchen Play, Gym Play, Toddler & Baby zones, and a full-service snack bar.

Kids U, 407 Sette Drive, Paramus 201-225-0008

http://www.kidsu.com/Paramus/home.html

Kids U is a child-centered "Campus" that offers kids and their families a safe and fun place to learn and play. We offer a variety of great classes, the best birthday parties, top-notch instructors, innovative programming, first-class equipment, outstanding customer service, and most importantly - children with ear-to-ear smiles on their faces!

NJ Children's Museum, 599 Valley Health Plaza, Paramus 201-262-5151

http://www.njcm.com/

The ultimate indoor playspace for imagination play, offering a real firetruck, real helicopter, a ballet studio with costumes, a medieval castle, a pretend grocery store, indoor sandbox, and more!

IKEA, 100 IKEA Drive (Off Route 4) Paramus, NJ  201-843-1881

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/store/paramus

IKEA offers what no other indoor playspace can: drop-off and FREE indoor play! During the week you can score up to an hour of free supervised play for the kids, and during week-ends and peak shopping times 30 minutes. Only conditions: kids must be out of diapers and approximately 36-50 inches tall. IKEA also offers occasional FREE kids special activities such as balloon artists and clowns. 

UNBELIEVA-BILL'S, 140 Hopper Ave, Waldwick 201-652-8626

http://www.unbelieva-bills.com/Montclair/playdates.html

Unbelieva-Bill's is a great play date destination for children 2 through 9. Jungle Gyms, arcade games, and a children's theater!

Jungle Gym.................$5.00 ($3.00 the last hour of the day)

Arcade Games...........$ .25 - $1.00 (depending on game)

Laser Tag...................$3.50 (5 min game)

Shows........................$4.00 (each 20 minute show) SPACE ODYSSEY, 491 South Dean Street, Englewood 201-567-3810 http://www.spaceodysseyusa.com/default2.asp Although they advertise as a "member-only" family entertainment space, they have recently been offering "day passes" for non-members during times when the kids are off from school. It's worth checking out.

The Craft Lounge

What happens when three really smart women from Leonia come together and open a business dedicated to promoting the creativity of moms? The Craft Lounge is what happens. Meet Susie Levy, Kathy Pecht, and Jen Ballot, three talented women who have audaciously opened a new business in an old-fashioned kind of way. In an age where we’ve exchanged human interaction for Twitter, texting, I.M-ing., and Listserve, they are re-connecting the community by inviting people to dis-connect their cell phones and computers to engage with each other in an environment they personally designed to promote face-to-face communication.

At The Craft Lounge you can shop, take a class, host a party, or just meet friends. Furnished with many of the original pieces that resided in Susie and Kathy’s grandparents’ pharmacy and soda shop that served Leonian’s for many years, there is a palpable warmth and agelessness that permeates your experience. If space could be described as having an old soul, then The Craft Lounge personifies it. The obvious care and thought put into creating the exterior design of their shop has revitalized Leonia’s downtown and serves as a model for future redevelopment.  

Walk through the front door and get ready to be surprised--this is not your glitter and glue gun kind of craft store—think “museum shop” because what you’ll find here are small one-of-a-kind works of art. The Craft Lounge encourages the works of Leonia’s many professional painters, photographers, and designers as well as works from the incredibly talented people whose full-time “day jobs” mask their creative genius. The quality of the items they create in their “spare time” will make you wonder how you fill your spare time.   

Here’s a sampling of what I saw: jewelry that is not only stunning by design, but unique conversation pieces; hand-designed greeting cards that belong in frames, not envelopes; fashionably knitted scarves that you would expect to find in high-end boutiques; and baby quilts that are heartbreakingly gorgeous.

          Their collective story began some years ago when Kathy decided to organize a weekly Friday night knitting circle so she, Susie, and Jen (a teacher, graphic artist, and publicist) could get together outside of play dates and school events.  Somewhere in the middle of knit one, purl two, they discovered that despite their differing professional backgrounds, they each harbored a latent dream to open a store for high quality hand-crafted goods; a store that would also function as a gathering place where women could just come and hang out, and, if they wanted, learn how to knit, sew, make soap, candles, greeting cards, you name it.

They expanded their knitting circle to include other women who wanted a place where they could meet and work on their craft, be it knitting, quilting, jewelry design, or anything else. So successful were the Friday night circles that they began hosting private craft fairs.  Inspired by the sales from these fairs they organized a craft fair for Leonia Arts in the Leonia Library. The overwhelming response from the community inspired them with a, “build it and they will come” mentality, and so The Craft Lounge was born.

          The Craft Lounge offers classes for children, pre-teens, and adults. There are also parent-child classes, as well. For children, there are workshops in soap making, handsewing, and knitting. For preteens and older, there are classes in beginner’s machine sewing, embroidery, scrapbooking, knitting, and more. Adults can learn to knit, sew, crochet, embroider, design greeting cards, and make candles, soap and more. The Craft Lounge can accommodate up to 12 people for children’s birthday parties or girls night out. Imagine having your child’s birthday party at The Craft Lounge—you won’t have to worry about goodie bags because they get to take home what they create. In the words of co-owner Susie Levy, “Who needs another pencil or eraser?”  I couldn’t agree more.

          Check out their website at thecraftlounge.com for store hours and a list of classes.  Better yet, stop in and meet these three remarkable entrepreneurs; their genuine enthusiasm and passion will awaken your inner artist.          

DISCOUNT BEAUTY & SPA SERVICES

If your regular $200 hair salon visit has become unjustifiable, how does paying $40 for the same services sound? When was the last time you had a facial for $23? Or a Swedish massage for $40? Here are three places that offer salon and spa services for a fraction of what you would normally be expected to pay. These are schools that open their doors to the public to allow students, who have hundreds of hours of logged instruction and training, to obtain practical experience before graduating and being hired by the top salons and spas. Licensed professionals supervise their work every step of the way, and you are constantly consulted for your opinion. 

Parisian Beauty Academy, 362 State Street, Hackensack, 201-487-2203:  Music pumping, décor popping, stylists hopping; the vibe screams NYC salon. The intense energy and outstanding level of service is palpable from the moment the valet takes the keys to your car. It’s a Paul Mitchell partner school, so the hair products are top quality. No appointments are necessary, but arrive before noon if you need color. $40 got me a shampoo, scalp massage, color, blow-dry and flat iron. My hair looked just as good as when I walk out of my regular salon, and I felt even better because I paid a fraction of the price. On my next visit I paid $15 for a shampoo, scalp massage, haircut, blow-dry and flat iron. I was very pleased with the results. Haircuts start at $12, color starts at $18, blow-outs start at $10. What’s better for the blues than getting a wash and blow out?  They offer $10 spa manicures and $20 spa pedicures. Facials start at $25, waxing starts at $7. Bride and groom packages are offered. 

Capri Institute, 615 Winters Avenue, Paramus, 201-599-0880:  Capri Institute is a beauty school that offers hair care and skin care services. Unlike Parisian, it has the definite feel of a school, but the service is excellent. You need to make an appointment for skin care services, but the facial I received was one of the best facials I’ve ever had. Except for the burning candles, the private room, and the extra fluffy towels, there is no difference between Capri’s facials and ones I’ve received at top-rated NYC spas. There are 6 tables spaced far apart in a large, dimly lit room. Trust me, after 5 minutes you forget there are other women in the room. My $23 facial included a leg and foot massage, arm and hand massage, neck and back massage, and heated mitts after my hands were covered in a hydrating cream. Really? Really! I’ve paid much more for mediocre service that included fewer treatments. Capri offers $17 teen facials, $21 back facials, $31 collagen facials, $25 enzymatic peels.  Haircuts start at $9, blowouts $7, spa manicure $10, spa pedicure $15, and waxing starts at $4.

Academy of Massage Therapy, 321 Main Street, 2^nd Floor, Hackensack, 201-568-3220: Offering both Swedish and shiatsu massages, there is only one word to describe the experience of a massage here—sublime. Forget that you are in an open room with other clients; the room is large enough to make you feel like you’re all alone, and never did I feel as if my privacy was invaded. Besides, no one’s even paying attention to you. Recently, I was treated to a massage at a well-known Bergen County Spa. Yes, it was wonderful, but so extravagantly priced that it would be relegated to a holiday or birthday indulgence only. At the Academy, once I closed my eyes, the new-age music and aromatic massage oils made me feel like I was getting the same massage for far less money. Not only that, the price would allow me to come more often than once a year! Curtained dressing rooms are provided. One hour massages are $40 and they will leave you feeling peaceful and serene. I highly recommend de-stressing here.

Every one of these schools provided top quality services; and the students’ positive attitude is unmatched by top salons. 

Resale Stores & Thrift Shops in Bergen County

In this economy everyone is being really thrifty and really smart. But the kids keep growing, need new clothes, and you’re tired of wearing the same old things. Let’s be honest, do you really want to spend hundreds of dollars at the mall while you’re clipping coupons for food? Shopping at Macy’s may help Macy’s bottom line, but who’s helping yours?

Here are resale stores that donate their profits to charity. These are not thrift stores from our parent’s generation; these are resale shops in Bergen County, one of the wealthiest counties in the nation where people buy designer labels and regularly donate them to help a good cause and get a tax benefit. I regularly visit these stores and have discovered amazing items in great condition that looked fresh from the pages of InStyle Magazine. Here’s a sample:

Eileen Fischer blue cotton eyelet dress ($4.99), J.Crew suede driving mocs ($5.00), Dooney and Bourke brown leather belt ($2.00), Dana Buchman silk blazer ($7.99), Ann Klein black rain jacket ($4.99), Abercrombie suede shirt ($5.00), Juicy Couture two-piece camaflouge sweat suit ($4.99), boy’s soccer shorts ($1.00), boy’s Champion baseball pants (1.00), girl’s Hannah Anderson dress ($2.00), white pine bookcase with hand painted flowers for a girl’s bedroom ($10.00), Prego Stroller in excellent condition ($5.00).

Caveat: You have to be patient, like to dig through racks of clothes and have a sense of adventure. If you love garage sales and eBay you will love these shops. If your sense of adventure is shopping at Nordstrom instead of Neiman Marcus, this may not be for you. Also, you may walk out with nothing one day, but leave with four bags the next time.

Wyckoff Parent Teacher Organization Economy Shop, 399 Main Street, Wyckoff 201-891-5765: Consignment shop run by volunteers. Profit goes to support Wyckoff Public schools. Clothes for the entire family. Labels: Abercrombie, Old Navy, Limited Too, Gymboree, Kate Spade, Jones NY, J. Jill, Chico’s, DKNY, Ralph Lauren. An entire table of gently used youth cleats.

Midland Park Community Thrift Shop, 85 Godwin Ave, Midland Park (behind Kings Shopping Plaza) 201-652-7661: If you drop items off you can choose from 52 charities within Bergen County where the proceeds from the sale of your items will go. Charities include: Shelter Our Sisters, Children’s Aid, West Bergen Mental Health Clinic. On display was a full length suede Jones NY Coat in perfect condition for $19. Labels: Gap, Old Navy, Kate Hill, Ralph Lauren. Beautiful selection of children’s clothes.

C.A.T.S. (Caring About the Strays), 80 Kinderkermack Road, Westwood 201-666-5444: Adorable little shop with lots of shabby chic household items. Small but packed with amazing costume jewelry (lots of Joan Rivers), cocktail glasses, paintings, women’s clothes and so much more. All proceeds go to provide care for homeless animals. Labels: Dana Buchman, Ralph Lauren, DKNY.

Goodwill, 507 S. Washington Ave, Bergenfield 201-385-5154: Megastore for clothes shopping. 50% off selected items every day. Great selection of designer gowns and dresses. Labels: Betsey Johnson ($7.99 dress), Ann Taylor, Limited Too, Abercrombie, Hollister. Note: Target donates overstocks of brand new items.

National Council of Jewish Women Thrift Shop, 75 S. Washington Ave, Bergenfield 201-385-3702: Small shop with big labels. Eileen Fisher, Nicole Miller, Ann Taylor, Jessica McClintock. Small children’s and men’s section.

Second Look Shoppe, 340 Main Street, Fort Lee (in basement of Madonna CYO Hall) 201-944-1099: A community thrift shop with a large selection of baby items, household goods, and furniture in good condition. Women’s, men’s and children’s clothing.

Palisades General Thrift Shop, 595 Anderson Ave, Cliffside Park, 201-945-6965: Small shop with clothes for men, women and children. Separate room containing furniture. Proceeds go to support Palisades General Hospital.

I discovered these places solely on word of mouth from other moms and now I’m sharing them with you. If you want to help worthy causes within our community, here’s your chance. I encourage all of you to visit them. Instead of charity knocking on our door for help, let’s walk through theirs and help.

If you know of any other resale shops in Bergen County where the proceeds go to support those in need, please email me and I will get the word out.

Mad Men on My Mind

Okay, so as I'm driving down Grand Avenue this afternoon, dishing out punishments to my son and daughter from the driver's seat I found myself shouting, "If Don Draper was your father you'd listen the first time, dammit!" Their reflections from the rear view mirror seemed slightly stunned, but mostly amused--as if to say--"Wait til my therapist gets a load of this!"

But my tirade got me thinking about last night's episode of Mad Men. Let's just jump ahead to 10:30 when Don's scream to the kids, "Cut it out!" was followed by obedient silence. My breathing became heavier when I stopped to think that he was not only admonishing his own brood, but also his brother-in-law's daughters. And they all listened! Come on, anyone who's ever had a playdate has had the urge to scream just once at some other kid, "Cut it out!" (My house, being uncensored, would follow it up with, "You little Bastard!") I am a true subscriber to the "Don Draper Method for Scaring the Shit out of Your Kids."

Okay back to the show--let's start at the beginning where Ann Margaret opened the show with "Bye Bye Birdie"--tell me that Sal didn't want to break out dancing and singing? Did you see his Fred Flinstone head slightly shaking to the beat restraining himself to not get up on the table and dance along with Annie?

And while we're on the subject of The Flintstones, I loved when sexy Joanie said to Iron Betty, "Other than Wilma Flintstone, I've never seen anyone carry so well." And not for nothing, but Joanie's looking a little thick around the waist; however, it only makes her look more sexy--my middle cannot be forced into curves--it's simply just there preventing me from sitting close enough to the steering wheel to reach the pedals. Lately it feels like I have to stand when I drive.

Then there's the dinner scene with Don, Pissed-off Betty, Pompous Price and his arrogant wife. Just once I want to be in a situation that requires me to say, "Ah, the coquille. Brilliant!"

And Roger. Roger, Roger, Roger...All I have to say about Roger is "Gibson up, Baby!" He can drink anywhere, anytime, anyplace and never break a sweat. It's true that last season's oyster and 10 martini lunch with Dan caused him to spew all over the clients (every time I eat oysters I'm reminded of that scene) he's still my favorite character. I loved the "family meeting" in his office with his ex & daughter. Let me just say that if Roger was my daddy and he was footing the bill for my off-the-charts wedding he could bring Ethel Merman for all I cared! And I love how his ex called his nubile bride "June" instead of "Jane"--can't beat passive-aggressive behavior!

Then there's Peggy's dorm sex with the Bay Ridge Boy. No Trojan, no worries--"we can do other things." -- How Don Draper of her!

I can't end the post without talking about Grandpa since the show sort of revolved around him and his son Scooter. Let me just say this--if I walked into my kitchen and found the old man pouring my booze down the drain he'd be in a home faster than you could say, "Bye-Bye Gramps!" That scene brought a tear to my eye.

Okay, and then there's the Don Draper Maypole Boner scene. The teacher was definitely headed in the "flower child" direction--hair down, no spray, no girdles, no stockings. You know there's got to be a story there...my guess is Don's going to the Parent-Teacher conference this year.

So until next week ladies, get out those matching peignoir sets, light up a non-filtered cigarette, and make yourself a pitcher of martinis...and if you find an empty box of Melba Toast in your cupboard--blame it on the maid...why not, Betty does?

The Return of Mad Men

Okay, so the rule in my house last night was this: disturb mommy from 10 o'clock to 11 o'clock and every privilege gets taken away and the house goes into lock down mode--this included my husband as well, but not the dog. Why? Season 3 of MAD MEN! Now for those of you who have never seen an episode of the show--run to the video store, Netflix, the library and watch the first two seasons. You will immediately become addicted as the opening notes transport you to the world of New York City, and the suburbs, in 1960. Sex, cigarettes, intrigue, cigarettes, adultery, cigarettes, pointy boobs and shoes, cigarettes, no birth control, cigarettes...oh, and lots and lots and lots of booze.

For all you returning devotees of the show I have just two words: Gay Sex! And could they make it any hotter? What was it? Because it was so forbidden back then, or the fact that Sal finally succumbed to his urges? And can I just say that Sal's almost-romp with the bell boy put Don's fling with the pretty, but entirely uninteresting, stewardess to shame. And, come on, when Sal's pen exploded in his shirt pocket? Cheesy, but oh so supreme a metaphor! Although I think Sal really loves his wife Kitty (and who wouldn't--she's great!) let's hope he continues to have more great story lines.

And Peggy--way to grow a pair--you go girlfriend!!! Get that secretary working for YOU! Take away those bangs, the bow ties, and the sensible shoes and you have Don Draper!

And how pregnant is Betty? When Don delivered the warm milk to Betty in bed she looked like her water was going to break, but at the end of the show she looked only about five months pregnant.

And I have to ask: can Betty be any more cold as a mother? Did you see the snarky smirk she had on her face when 8 minutes into the show she referred to her daughter as a "Lesbian"? At least her life would be more complete and fulfilled than yours, Betty Boop! And she'd be with someone, finally, who would love her unconditionally! Can't you see her daughter dropping LSD, burning her bra, and needing deep psychoanalysis by 1970?

Then there's Joan, the curvy sexy head of the secretarial pool. She made a reference about leaving not on her terms--did her rapist husband get her pregnant? But you have to love how she seductively and brilliantly put the English boy secretary, "I'm not a secretary" in his place by giving him an office she knew his boss would take away from him.

And here's my final thoughts: what's up with Cooper's Asian snake porn picture? Can Roger stay faithful to his 21 year old bride? Did anyone catch the hair hat on one of the ladies who lunched at Pete's wife's apartment? And how great are Pete's whiny temper tantrums? Imagine being married to that??? I love screaming at the TV whenever he comes on: "Stop whining Bitch!" Makes me feel so powerful! And when I watch all those pointy breasts, curvy hips, high pointy spiked heels, and the stiff hair on all the women all I can think about is the excruciating pain they must have been in every single minute of every single day. It's all I can do to put a bra on some days--imagine girdles, three-hook bras, garters, slips, stockings...OW!

Now, considering the fact that I also watch "The Housewives of..." shows, watching Mad Men is a huge step up the cultural food chain for me, and let's face it--Don Draper is some pretty sweet eye-candy! (But I would love to see The Housewives circa 1960 go up against The Housewives of New Jersey circa 2009--Betty wouldn't have to stand up to toss a table like Teresa--her icy cold stare would bring the room to a scary standstill. And what would Teresa make of those pointy boobies? And how fun would it be if Danielle hooked up with Don Draper--she'd off him in a Jersey second if he pulled that crap on her!)

So for all you other devoted fans of the misogynistic Mad Men, loosen up the girdles, take off the stilettos, light up a cigarette, pour yourself a scotch, whiskey, bourbon, vodka...and enjoy season 3!

PS: ant colonies are "gynocracies"??? WTF?

Bless Me Father...

Last Friday, a young cousin of mine was married and because our family is insanely huge she invited only the old aunts which was just fine by me. However, my mother drafted me to be her chauffeur for the evening and so I had to accompany her to the church before entertaining her for 2 hours and hauling her off to the reception. Now, I knew my mission was difficult; however, my children have sufficiently broken me so I thought, "What's left of my sanity that my mother could actually break?" (Hint: never ask yourself that question sober!)

The ceremony at the church began at 5pm so it was completely logical that my mother insist we arrive at 4pm to get a good seat. Of course when we arrived the church was locked and therefore we did the next best thing--we walked around the cemetery for 30minutes which in itself is enough to bring your mood to suicidal, but when she stopped at my father's grave to tell him that the refrigerator he bought her 40 years ago finally broke and he did her no favors by building custom cabinets around the refrigerator because now she can't find a g-d refrigerator to fit the g-d space because they don't make that g-d size anymore...!--well, let's just say I was rummaging through my purse for any expired prescription drugs that may be rolling around the bottom of my bag.

Finally, the church doors opened and I convinced my mother to sit in the last pew because I had just come from the pool and a cover-up dress was not appropriate attire for a wedding. The real reason I wanted to sit in the last pew is because my mother is a devout Catholic who believes in confession. Not the "Bless me Father, kneeling in the confessional" confession, but the very loud, very public confessions made from her seat in the pew about the people sitting near and around her. Having not seen her extended family and old friends in quite some time I knew she'd have a lot to say.

As the church began to fill and strangers sat in the pews in front of us I thought we were safe from any family members who would be seated towards the front overhearing the comments I was sure she would make. And then the priest flipped on the two gigantic fans that sat right behind our seat in the last pew. I began to sweat because now the fans would push her comments to the front of the church amplifying her vitriol.

Her first victim was a young cousin of mine who, I admit, is amply endowed and wore a dress that accentuated her healthy cleavage, but my mother in her loud church whisper said, "Will you look at the size of her boobies!" My head snapped to look at my mother in disbelief. Now I'm sitting next to Theresa from Housewives of NJ? "Those boobies are enormous! If she coughs her boobies'll fall to the floor and then what will she do?! I thought your boobies were big, but..."

"Stop saying 'boobies' in church!" I seethed.
"Oh you're being ridiculous!" she snapped back.

I handed her the a copy of the wedding booklet the bride and groom had placed in the pews for guests hoping that it would amuse her. She idly flipped through it and without looking up said, "You should talk to her about her boobies. Tell her about your BREAST REDUCTION."

I nearly pushed her to the floor in matricidal rage. "Stop talking about boobies...her boobies...my boobies...stop!!!" Now I couldn't stop saying boobies and the people seated in the pew in front of us began to shift uncomfortably.

"I'm just saying that you should tell her about your BREAST REDUCTION because your boobies were humung..."

I pinched her arm like she was one of my children and told her if she didn't stop talking about overgrown body parts we were leaving!!!

I couldn't quell the nausea rising like the perfect storm in my belly as the grandmothers of the bride were escorted in. I could tell my mother was shifting her thoughts from boobies to whores when she pointed to a guest and said, "Will you look at her--in that outfit! You know she cheated on her husband in 1955! She always had a reputation as a ..."
Another pinch accompanied with, "DO NOT SAY IT!" Now STOP!"

Now, people were willing to ignore 'boobies' but words like 'cheating on her husband' and 'reputation' registers with people especially when they're directed at a seemingly harmless 80 year old woman.

Just when I thought there was nothing worse she could possibly say it was time for the vows. A hush fell over the congregation when the bride and groom stood to take their vows. I could see that my mother thought this was her cue to give a play-by-play commentary. The first pitch 'whispered' was, "She married someone who's bald? She's so beautiful!" The second pitch: "Why would she want someone who's bald? and is he Mexican or an Arab? I can't tell." The third pitch: "You see that old fat woman wearing that awful red dress with the knee-hi's? She was voted most beautiful in 1945. Look at her now! I hope they don't sit me with her--I'll never get anything to eat at the reception!"

At this point my mom conveniently drops her tissue, bends down to pick it up so that when everyone finally turns around to see who's been spewing all these comments I'm the only one standing. I thought the crowd was going to attack me there and then, but thankfully the priest pronounced the bride and groom, man and wife, and there was no time for retribution of the masses as the newlyweds kissed.

By the time the bride and groom made their way down the aisle, I was hoping to get my hands on some of the sacramental wine because I was done! I made my mother wait until everyone left the church because I wanted to leave by the side door afraid that I would be assaulted by the crowd. However, before I could make my get-a-way my mother said, "Wait, I want to go light a candle. Here-- take this dollar, it would benefit you to light one too. Oh, and don't forget to talk to your cousin with the big boobies about your BREAST REDUCTION!"

"Bless me Father..." I said as I looked up towards the statue of Jesus who, unless my eyes were deceiving me, seemed to be smiling just a little.