Happy Wife, Happy Life

Okay, so I have a dirty little secret--I am hopelessly addicted to "Desperate Housewives of New Jersey". There I said it. But come on--it's a total train wreck and I can't help myself. Everyone in my house, including the dog, knows that I can't be disturbed on Tuesdays beginning at 10pm. My obsession has gotten really bad; I mean I was at a Board of Education meeting tonight and I kept looking at the clock thinking, "People, can we please speed up the talk about the swine flu! It's the season finale of "Desperate Housewives of NJ!"

I swear it's like I have OCD with the show, too. For those of you who watch (admit it--I can feel the smiles on your face) you know that they replay it no less than 3 times in a row. I'm OCD because I must watch the show from 10-11 just for the sheer pleasure of watching. I must watch it from 11-12 to make sure that what I watched from 10-11 actually happened, and I must watch it from 12-1 to dissect it. A botox party? Boobies? Women in Franklin Lakes with Hudson County accents? Boobies? (yes, boobies must be repeated!) Giving your daughter a brand new car for failing out of school and having to attend summer school? All those 100 dollar bills stuffed into Teresa's wallet??? A 45 year old dating a 25 year old??? (Technically, isn't that babysitting?)

I didn't mean to watch the show, let alone obsess over it. But I watched the 30 minute season premier and was hooked when Teresa's husband said (in response to her spending hundreds of thousands of dollars) "Happy wife, happy life!" I want to get that tattooed to my husband's forehead. My husband, hurumphing it all away said, (bless his soul) "You can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars if you want--I won't get mad." Sweet man, doesn't he realize that first you have to have it before you can spend it?

Tonight's season finale involved a housewarming party held at a restaurant (???) and a table being overturned (really thrown over) in anger. I nearly cried when I saw all those full glasses of red wine spilling to the floor. But, believe it or not, coming from a passionate Italian family, I've been to a few family events where tables have been turned over but never, I repeat, never when there were full glasses of wine. We knew where to draw the line.

But alas, the show has ended for the season (however, next week the cast gets together to rehash the season!!!) so I will have to find some other way to fill my Tuesday nights with entertainment. Moms--anyone out there want to meet at the Gazebo? I'll bring the wine!