Housewives of NJ Supper Show and Reunion, Pt.1

"If you're not familiar with the 'table flip' then you're not from New Jersey."
A quotable quotable from Christopher, Caroline's son. (Psst...Craft Lounge--can I also have that embroirdered on a tee-shirt???)

Just when I thought that all was back to bland on TV, I accidentally stumbled across Bravo's airing and dissection of the "Supper Show" from the finale of "Desperate Housewives of New Jersey". BRAVA, Bravo for taking a ten minute trainwreck and stretching it into an hour of armchair analysis and petty commentary. TV doesn't get much better than that--I was glued to the set. Then there was the quotable observation made by Theresa (aka, the 'table-flipper') about her table-flipping moment, "I think Joe was turned on by the table flip because we went home and got it on...I mean really got it on." (BTW the only thing I really get on when I get home is my pajamas, but I digress.)


Not only does Bravo throw all us fans a bone with "The Supper Show" they give us a two-parter reunion!!!! Tonight was part one and it was the perfect tease to get us to watch part two on Thursday (as if I'd miss it????) They start off with "the book" and the "table-flip" and slowly ease us into getting at the core of what ails those Jersey girls--from bitch-slap revelations (Danielle really slapped Caroline???) to Theresa only liking "cleansy" houses because dirty houses shkeeve (sp?) her, what more can a Jersey girl ask of the Jersey girls? And who knew that the "Big Reveal" would come from the host who admitted he was gay. Really? I mean really? Do you really think we didn't know? Two things a Jersey girl can sniff out--a sale and a gay man.

Half-way through the show my husband came in to get his (sweats) on and started his running commentary which was spoiling the experience of the show for me so I banished him from the room. He returned during the commercial break to tell me that my life is much more sexy and interesting and would make for a far more compelling reality show than the lives of these women. I asked him which wife he was talking about and could he please ask her to take a break from her sexiness and do a load of laundry every once in a while, or take the kids off my hands for an hour or two so I could go get a wax and stop looking like Chewbacca. He assured me he was talking about me. Now, I could use a lot of adjectives to explain my life and sexy isn't even in the top 100. Who does this poor man think he's married to? I may be desperate, and I may be a housewife, but even with Acadamy Award winning editing, my life could never rise to the level of insanity that the lives of these women do.
I had so much more to say in response, but the commercial break was over and he was once again banished from the room.

The coming attractions for part two (airs Thursday night) look great...tears, accusations, more tears, and anger...always seething anger. I can't wait! So stay tuned...I'm sure I'll have more to say on Thursday.

Happy Wife, Happy Life

Okay, so I have a dirty little secret--I am hopelessly addicted to "Desperate Housewives of New Jersey". There I said it. But come on--it's a total train wreck and I can't help myself. Everyone in my house, including the dog, knows that I can't be disturbed on Tuesdays beginning at 10pm. My obsession has gotten really bad; I mean I was at a Board of Education meeting tonight and I kept looking at the clock thinking, "People, can we please speed up the talk about the swine flu! It's the season finale of "Desperate Housewives of NJ!"

I swear it's like I have OCD with the show, too. For those of you who watch (admit it--I can feel the smiles on your face) you know that they replay it no less than 3 times in a row. I'm OCD because I must watch the show from 10-11 just for the sheer pleasure of watching. I must watch it from 11-12 to make sure that what I watched from 10-11 actually happened, and I must watch it from 12-1 to dissect it. A botox party? Boobies? Women in Franklin Lakes with Hudson County accents? Boobies? (yes, boobies must be repeated!) Giving your daughter a brand new car for failing out of school and having to attend summer school? All those 100 dollar bills stuffed into Teresa's wallet??? A 45 year old dating a 25 year old??? (Technically, isn't that babysitting?)

I didn't mean to watch the show, let alone obsess over it. But I watched the 30 minute season premier and was hooked when Teresa's husband said (in response to her spending hundreds of thousands of dollars) "Happy wife, happy life!" I want to get that tattooed to my husband's forehead. My husband, hurumphing it all away said, (bless his soul) "You can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars if you want--I won't get mad." Sweet man, doesn't he realize that first you have to have it before you can spend it?

Tonight's season finale involved a housewarming party held at a restaurant (???) and a table being overturned (really thrown over) in anger. I nearly cried when I saw all those full glasses of red wine spilling to the floor. But, believe it or not, coming from a passionate Italian family, I've been to a few family events where tables have been turned over but never, I repeat, never when there were full glasses of wine. We knew where to draw the line.

But alas, the show has ended for the season (however, next week the cast gets together to rehash the season!!!) so I will have to find some other way to fill my Tuesday nights with entertainment. Moms--anyone out there want to meet at the Gazebo? I'll bring the wine!